Better Communication Thanks to Fibromyalgia
I recently realized that having fibromyalgia has made The Helpful Hubby and I better communicators. The years of practice we’ve had working around the difficulties of communicating with fibromyalgia have helped us to understand each others needs, even when we can’t use words. This became apparent to me lately because now that we have a baby there are times when we need to keep our voices down or aren’t able to speak to keep from waking or disturbing The Boisterous Boy. In those situations we’ll often use hand or head gestures or whisper to communicate something we need the other person to do.
Most of my practice with this type of communication comes from dealing with fibro fog. There were times that fibro fog prevented me from thinking of a word so I pointed at things instead. That or I’d play word charades, trying to get The Helpful Hubby to figure out the word I was trying to recall and say. (Read my post about it) There were also times where my senses were overwhelmed and I couldn’t think of or communicate cohesive thoughts very well. This also happens when I am taking pain killers. (Read my post about it)
You may be wondering how me having a hard time communicating could have made me understand The Helpful Hubby any better. Well, through us communicating like this he has unintentionally learned my style of communication. So, now when he’s trying to tell me something using gestures or just a few words he naturally does it in ways he knows I’ll more easily understand.
This observation may not seem like much, but I like to celebrate any of the ways I realize that fibromyalgia has enriched my life. It’s so easy to notice the things fibromyalgia makes more difficult, so it’s joyous when I have moments like these that I stumble upon.
Have you ever noticed that your fibromyalgia has improved how you communicate with someone?
Solutions can even be portrayed non-verbally*
*Image Credit: from www.flickr.com by ▓▒░ TORLEY ░▒▓
Posted: July 17th, 2013 under Communication, Living with Fibro.
Tags: Family, Fibro Fog, Sensitivity
Comments
Comment from Sue | Life Coach
Time July 17, 2013 at 8:03 pm
Your observation is indeed that much and must be celebrated. We we’re able to co-exist because we communicate. I guess that’s our edge as humans. We can adapt to whatever situation and will always learn to communicate effectively. 
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Comment from margie
Time July 18, 2013 at 4:30 pm
my husband and I have been communicating like that for a long time,some times it can even get a little funny.
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Comment from Leslie
Time July 21, 2013 at 3:21 am
Incredible how close to home your post hits! My family has been “filling in the blanks” for me for years. I love your phrase “word charades” because that’s exactly what it seems like!
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Comment from Tom
Time July 29, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Hello, Felicia, my name is Tom, 52 years old and of those, about 15 with Fibro. I looked for diagnoses for 10-12 years and was very happy when they finally diagnosed me. I felt that now my symptoms would be addressed: heavy pain, muscle stiffness, declining memory, migraines, dizziness, extreme sensitivity to cold, never ending pain in my extremities. At the time I felt that I had the undying support of my wife of, now, 30 years. I thought that I could begin to improve my life. As a man of my generation I grew up feeling that I needed to be the strong one, take care of all of the things that a man should. I had always been healthy, strong, had a very strong positive outlook, and then all of that began to change. I have always tried to accept the pain, keep it to myself, enjoy the occasional good day and get recharged for when the days turned ugly. My wife initially promised to support me with phrases like “we are in this together”. As time went on it became clear to me that she had no idea at all just how long the rest of my life would be. I am not really angry with her, just hurt. I am here because I have nowhere else to go with this any longer, just me and pain. I am on Fentanyl patches and Oxycodone 15 Mg. tablets, Sometimes that isn’t close to enough. My glass has always been half full, but lately that is no longer the case. Last week I mowed my yard and paid dearly for 3 days. I believe that without bragging I could say that I am a tough man, I can accept almost anything, but that has been tested many times with this. Chronic pain causes isolation, lying in pain waiting for medications to begin. My wife goes on with her life and I feel very, very, alone. Out of all of the information that I have read, none has touched on this topic. I believe that the aloneness is probably for me the worst part. I have asked that she lay with me, but I believe that she probably wants to keep her distance from all of that, but that truly compounds things. I have talked to my Neurologist about my end game once the Meds no longer help. I am not there yet but have decided that within the next few years I probably will be. Does anyone else feel the personal separation from family or friends while dealing with this type of pain? Any suggestions?
Sincerely, Tom
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Comment from Dr Pullen
Time August 31, 2013 at 8:25 pm
As a family doc I too see the effects of fibro fog in the office, when patients just cannot seem to articulate their concerns well. Sometimes it feels like a guessing game, what do you mean to say? Still most of the time we figure it out and find out their concerns pretty well.
Dr Pullen recently posted: Still Taking Turmeric Extract Curcumin C3 Complex
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Felicia Fibro Reply:
September 5th, 2013 at 5:54 pm
Glad you like it! I hadn’t ever tried to figure out a term for what we do until I wrote a post about it a couple years ago. Now I use that term somewhat often!
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