Don’t let Guilt get in the Way
Being raised by parents with very high standards improved my work ethic and character in many ways. On the other hand, it has made not pushing the edge of what my body can do even harder. Before I had fibromyalgia I rarely let my body get in my way of doing something. It didn’t matter if I was exhausted, sore or thirsty. If I wanted or needed to do something, I would get it done. Obviously, that type of attitude can be detrimental to the body of someone living with fibromyalgia. I know that pacing and listening to my body is important and doing the opposite will cause a flare-up, guaranteed.
Really, I should apply the lesson of not letting something get in my way apply to not letting guilt keep me from pacing and listening to my body. One of the times I find this the hardest is before house guests come stay with us. Deep down I have a desire to clean my house to the extent of a spring cleaning before each guest arrives and then serve my guests as an ultimate hostess would. I realize that this is much more than most house guests would ever expect, but I love doing everything I can (and more) to make a loved one feel welcomed, appreciated and comfortable.
If I do actually push myself to that extreme I have found that it is much harder to actually enjoy time with my guests. Instead of enjoying it, I’m just trying to hold it together physically and energetically. This causes me to be less genuine and to be happy when the time comes for my guests to leave. That is not the kind of hostess I want to be! So, here’s to finding the middle ground between guilt and flaring. It really is best for all involved.
Does guilt ever get in your way?
Goodbye guilt, welcome health*
*Image Credit: from www.flickr.com by storem
Posted: August 22nd, 2011 under Living with Fibro.
Tags: Cleaning, Entertaining, Guilt, My Philosophy
Comments
Comment from Abby
Time August 22, 2011 at 9:06 am
It is really nice to hear someone else who feels this way. I get so tired of feeling guilty for not being able to do something or take care of something when I just simply can’t. I try and push myself sometimes and usually end up regretting it. Thanks for this post! It’s nice to know I’m not alone!
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Comment from Tired Mom
Time August 23, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Amen girl! I am such a perfectionist and always have been. I love my home looking and smelling perfect and I have such a hard time finding that “middle ground” with fibro. My body says no, but my head says to try anyway. Sometimes, I really just need to sit back and take a few minutes (or a day) to relax and not push myself too hard!
Tired Mom recently posted: I’m Walking for Autism and Need Your Help!
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Felicia Fibro Reply:
August 25th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I find that making lists helps me find that middle ground (to a degree) because I look at all the things I want to do, think about how I feel and do the things that fit together the best.
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Comment from Karen
Time September 22, 2011 at 6:36 am
I do the exact same thing. I clean until I am exhausted, because I used to be able to do the entire house in three hours. Now I have to take breaks. I also can’t do anything now without a list!
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Comment from Heather
Time December 20, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Thank you!!! I really identify with these guilt feelings. I did heavy work in the auto parts industry for 25 years, pre fibro. I also had a lumbar spinal fusion, and have lasting nerve damage to my right leg and foot. Then I was also diagnosed with endometriosis and ulcerative colitis. I have not worked since 2008, but still find it hard to live up to what I think are other peoples’ expectations of myself….and the former standard of clean for me. I have decided that if someone is coming to my home, they can accept my home, and come to see me, or leave disappointed but not a true friend. Finally, I am trying to teach myself this- “What other people think of me is none of my business.” RuPaul
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Felicia Fibro Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 11:15 pm
Thanks for sharing your experience and RuPaul’s quote
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Felicia Fibro Reply:
August 22nd, 2011 at 11:44 am
I wish we could turn off our ability to feel guilty for not doing things that we really shouldn’t be/can’t do. You’re definitely not alone!
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