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I’m a married 31 year-old who has been diagnosed with fibromylagia for 12 years. I am on a quest to raise awareness and help others by sharing information and staying positive. Read more
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Felicia Fibro - Life with fibromyalgia, EMPOWERED!

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What it is like to have an Adult Child with Fibromyalgia – Part III

When I started this website I forewarned my parents that I’d like them to write a little something about how they have felt having an adult child with fibromyalgia. I think hearing different perspectives are good for everyone. Below are some of my dad’s thoughts.

When Felicia asked her Mom and I to contribute to her website she was clear that we were to address our “feelings”. Well, expressing “feelings” is not the easiest thing for guys and especially Dads who try to be the problem-solver for their family. So, here goes, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Upon hearing of the diagnosis I was taken aback and then was angry. My sweet, young, full-of-life daughter had this condition that gives her pain and almost no sleep and there is not a thing I could do about it. It was something a dad couldn’t fix, and I couldn’t send her to any hospital or doctor to get it fixed. No matter what I did or could do, she was still going to have fibromyalgia. The frustration was overwhelming. I prayed that this affliction would be taken from her and that I could take on all of her pain and sleeplessness so she could go on and enjoy her life without this. To date, this prayer has not been answered even though I make this request often. I’ll never stop offering it either.

Our family has always been one that knows we have to take things as we get them. Deal with it, so to speak. We taught Felicia that it’s like being on a mission to live your life. Regardless of circumstance, don’t wallow in self-pity when things don’t go your way. We told her that there will always be physical and emotional hurts along the way but we have to keep taking even the slightest action to keep moving forward. We hoped to show her that it is not the things that happen to you, that define you, it is the character with which you deal with those circumstances that becomes who you are. Tenacity and sometimes outright stubbornness not to give in keeps you going and moving forward. We wanted Felicia to know that it serves no purpose to look back and feel sorry for your self, it wastes the time and effort you could be using to help yourself, or even better, doing something to help others, or just participating in your life. Like our wonderful military forces, quitting is never an option. If they can endure what they do to keep our country safe and secure, then whatever we have to personally endure to live our lives is a piece of cake. (Bless every one of our nations military and thanks to anyone and everyone that has served our country – remember to thank them when you see them.)

I like to hope that we as parents had a part to instill some of these values in Felicia during her time as a child and young adult. These are the things I see in her now as she strives on in her mission to bring hope and be a positive influence to those that have fibro, or are close partners and family with someone who does. Needless to say, I am very proud of her.

Tomorrow’s post will carry on where this left off.

father daughter walking

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You may also be interested in reading my mom’s perspective:
What it is like to have an Adult Child with Fibromyalgia – Part I
What it is like to have an Adult Child with Fibromyalgia – Part II

*Image Credit: from www.flickr.com by Solmaz Zohdi



Comments

Comment from pam
Time September 13, 2011 at 11:48 am

Wonderful idea! I love it.
pam recently posted: Sanctus Real, Leeland and the D6 Conference

[Reply]

Felicia Fibro Reply:

Thanks, Pam! Think your kids would ever want to write one for you? I’d love to hear their perspective, as young adults.

[Reply]

Comment from Miki
Time September 13, 2011 at 12:47 pm

What your Dad wrote made me cry. It sounds like my parents. Felicia, I think we have those same values to keep on loving life even with this pain. Even though it is tiring to be strong, I am glad we have the parents we do. Sending a lot of spoons and hugs to you and your family. Miki
Miki recently posted: 30 THINGS ABOUT MY INVISIBLE ILLNESS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

[Reply]

Felicia Fibro Reply:

*hugs* You are so right, being strong can be tiring and tough (even without illness), but it does feel worth it and I’m glad I was raised that way.

[Reply]

Comment from Tami Stackelhouse
Time September 13, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Awwww! Go Dad! <3
Tami Stackelhouse recently posted: 30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know: Fibromyalgia

[Reply]

Comment from Miki
Time September 13, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Me too!!
Miki recently posted: 30 THINGS ABOUT MY INVISIBLE ILLNESS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

[Reply]

Comment from Joseph
Time September 15, 2011 at 8:48 am

“It is not the things that happen to you that define you”, well said. You have a family that really love and supports you. The trials and hardships had made you the strong and motivated woman that you are now. I am sure you’ll continue to become stronger and conquer all the trials.

[Reply]

Comment from Heather
Time May 13, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Thank you for this great post! I’m happy Felicia has encouraged your participation. My own Father has been gone for many years, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that although I wasn’t diagnosed with anything specific when I was young, we knew there was something going on. In retrospect, I see now that he was constantly worried about me & spent as much time as he could with me & kept me active & healthy as possible. I stop at the cemetary & thank him often, for he gave me the inspiration to always make the best of things & giving up is never an option!

[Reply]

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