Years ago The Helpful Hubby and I took a class on living with fibromyalgia offered by my then local branch of the Arthritis Foundation. Our teacher, who also had fibromyalgia, taught us how we could use marbles to communicate how we feel. The idea is that you take a glass jar and fill it with marbles. A full jar of marbles should indicate how you feel on your best days, with your highest mental and physical capability. As the marble level in the jar decreases those around you can see that you are not feeling as well. You may not be feeling as well for many reasons; fatigue, pain, fibro fog, etc… The level of marbles may change throughout the day as well, so it is helpful to display the jar somewhere where your family can easily see it.

By communicating how you feel it lets those around you understand why you may be acting a certain way. It also lets them know that it might be nice if they could offer their help to you and work together as a team. I would suggest that it may even help you realize how you are acting. For example, if you become easily aggravated because of how you are feeling. Not communicating pain at all can make loved ones feel disconnected and uninformed.

Another way of thinking about the jar of marbles is to think of the marbles as being the amount of physical and mental capabilities you have to get through the day. When there are less marbles in the jar you won’t be able to do as many things. When this happens you have to prioritize and do what you can. This latter dimension is similar to The Spoon Theory, but I like the jar of marbles better because it is more encompassing and multi-dimensional. My teacher said she used the jar with her family and that it especially helped her kids understand.